So since Butch and I have been competing on “not making posts relevant to anything besides what Butch or bluesun care about” (he’s winning, obviously, because of the abundance of pig fat and Scotch whisky, while I only have dog pictures) I thought I’d post a guide to something, too. But I don’t have much. Maybe “bluesun’s guide to raccoons.”
1) Forget to put the cat food away at night (be sure to do this multiple times, even after it’s been knocked off the shelf and spread all over)
2) Set up live trap, baiting it with cat food that you’ve swept up off the floor from where the raccoon was playing with it, apparently.
3) Forget to put the new cat food away, so the coon can come and eat it all. All of it. Dammit…
3b) If you’re feeling really ambitious, you can forget to close the dog door, too. This one will be sure to get you a chewing out by other family members.
4) When the raccoon has completed his jolly banditry, he may smell the rest of the cat food you baited the trap with, and, if you’re lucky, he’ll go right on in.
5) Shoot the vial little fu… I mean, “relocate” the cute animal somewhere far away from your home. I chose a nice secluded spot in the bottom of a 5 ft hole.
6) Sing the Folgers Coffee song as you
put your rifle away “clean up.”
7) Go about your day as if you weren’t inexplicably another half hour late to work.